He took it everywhere he went. He wouldn’t stop playing it. It was a gift from his grandfather, before he passed away, and since then he held on to the rocket-ship as if it were the only thing left of him to hold on to. He loved it like he loved his grandfather.
I remember when he was born, my beautiful baby boy. He smelled so good, I couldn’t get enough of that sweet baby smell. I remember when he would grab my finger with his whole hand and look at me with those beautiful grey eyes. My whole world was complete, just me and him, him and me. My first-born son. Before you have a baby, people tell you about how in love you’re going to be with your baby, but I’ve never taken them seriously. I’d been in love before and it wasn’t everything I thought it would be. But with him, it was different. I loved him fully and completely. Every part of me, inside and outside of myself, loved that boy.
He was four when Dad bought him the rocket-ship. It was a week after we watched Space Monsters. After the movie had ended, he said to me, ‘mummy, I want to go to space’ and I told him he couldn’t go to space because that meant he’d be far away from me. And he looked up at me, with those eyes that I have loved so much and he said, ‘I’ll take you with me mummy’.
Him and Dad were inseparable. Dad always watched him when I was working, and they were always sharing secrets. I loved seeing them like that, the two people I loved the most, loving each other.
The day Dad died, I saw a part of my son shut off. I didn’t have to explain it to him, he just knew he wasn’t going to see his grandfather again, he was just 6 years old when he lost his best friend. The rocket ship became his new best friend. It was all he had in the end. My sweet sweet boy. It was all he had.